Kiss It All Better
by ElricSisters7
Summary: Baldur isn't quite as cured as everyone would have hoped, but he's learning control. After one such episode, Baldur is upset that he keeps hurting Loki. In trying to cheer him up, Loki makes the jokes about humans sometimes kissing a hurt to make it better. He doesn't expect Baldur to take him up on that offer.


"Ouch, Baldur," Loki whined, wincing and trying to jerk his hand out of the other god's grip.

Baldur, who was wielding a piece of antiseptic-soaked cotton, gave Loki a look that was half consternation over his childish whining, and half worry about actually hurting him. He didn't loosen his hold. "Human forms get infections Loki," he chided, and then went back to cleaning the cut on the back of his companion's hand.

It was one of many. Small injuries littered his bare arms, his neck, and face, continuing reminders that no matter how sweet Baldur was, he still had his dangerous side. After their time on Zeus's island, after Baldur's life had been saved, Loki had thought Baldur had been cured of his outbursts. No more god of destruction, gone, done, able to live his life and feel like anyone else. But the destruction was still there, just better controlled.

It had nearly scared Loki to death the first time it happened, at the congratulatory banquet to welcome the heroes back to Valhalla…

* * *

There had been a feast, of course, with plenty of meat (much to Baldur's delight) and plenty of gods celebrating the return of their companions, of the _heroes_. The first inklings of trouble appeared when Odin stood to make a speech. Baldur was spoken of as a precious son returning to them from the brink of destruction, Thor was lauded as returning hero, and Loki was barely lauded for returning. Almost no one in the room cared to notice the lack of credit afforded Loki, except Baldur and Thor themselves. Thor frowned briefly, but ever the good, disciplined son, soon smoothed his expression into one of neutral deference. Baldur had gone stiff, and his face became sharp. Later, Loki chastised himself for willfully ignoring the signs, but in the moment he had taken Baldur's hand under the table, and given it a reassuring squeeze.

"It's okay, Baldur," he had whispered, capturing his friend's attention. He tilted his head to the side to better see Baldur's face, and flipped his free hand in a careless gesture, catching it under one of the tendrils of hair falling free before his face in the process. "I really don't care. I still have you, and that's all that matters." And he wasn't even lying. As long as he could twine his fingers through Baldur's warm ones, and bask in his bright presence, that was more than Loki could have ever asked for.

Baldur had nodded and relaxed, squeezing Loki's hand back before pulling his away. Loki mourned the loss of contact and warmth. If he could, he would throw his arms around Baldur's shoulders and never let go, still needing that constant reassurance that he was still there and still himself. In fact, he had done his best to not let go of Baldur at all in the days leading up to the feast, and Baldur had put up with it several gentle smiles and only a few long-suffering sighs. But here it wasn't proper. Now, worrying about propriety was definitely not one of Loki's strong suits, but for Baldur's sake he tried.

The dancing after the feast had stretched Loki's patience in that regard. He had stood in a corner of the room by the drinks table, arms folded and one leg propped on the wall behind him, and watched Baldur making circuits of the room, with a different goddess hanging off of him for each dance. Loki's fingers twitched continuously against his biceps; he ached to march out there, and toss out whichever substance-less girl was dancing with _his_ Baldur so he could cling to him instead. He had nearly lost the battle with his minimal patience when Baldur peeled out of the crowd and came towards him, smiling his radiant smile.

"Loki, why are you hanging back here? You should come out and dance, have some fun."

Loki had plastered on a fake, undisturbed smile for Baldur's sake and waved his hands dismissively. "It's alright. I'm not much for dancing." Although, he might dance with Baldur. He seriously doubted that would happen though given the blond's recent feelings for one Kusanagi Yui. "Besides, no one would want to dance with me," he added on.

At that moment, he noticed three young goddesses approaching, wearing matching expressions that told him his last statement had been spot on. Baldur had frowned and opened his mouth to reply when one of the goddesses interrupted. "Baldur, why are you spending time with _that?_ " She asked, in clear reference to Loki. "You should come back out and dance with us."

Baldur's frown deepened, and he said, "Loki is my friend. And he's the one who saved me. I wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for him." Then he sighed and let his face melt back to its normal relaxed, benevolent state. "Why don't you three go on ahead? I'll join you again in a few moments."

Loki had turned to Baldur, about to suggest that he would be fine, would just find some unsuspecting god to prank, when he heard one of the retreating goddesses speak again, just barely within earshot. She said, "It really is a shame that the giant spawn didn't die. Then all of our problems would have been solved at once."

And then Loki felt the telltale change in air pressure from next to him. His heart plummeted; when he looked over at Baldur's face, his eyes had glazed over gold. "Baldur, no!" He had shouted. "Don't do this! I can't lose you again!" He had gripped Baldur's wrists, and moved between him and the crowd, to protect the room from the terrible wrath of the god of destruction.

But he was blown back by the burst of power; crystal drink decanters and glasses flew in every direction. One clipped him painfully on the shoulder, and the rest shattered into millions of shards on the floor that reflected back that hateful, hateful gold. Somewhere behind him, Loki could hear screaming, and through it Thor's voice asking what had happened. But he tuned it out, too focused on Baldur's face, because this time something was different. His eyes weren't blank as they were before, and his hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides. For the first time, Baldur was fighting. And this was a normal outburst, nothing close to the full-scale takeover he had seen on Zeus' island.

With something that maybe had been a bit like hope washing down his panic, Loki hauled himself to his feet, and began fighting his way through the gold light, ignoring the sharp pain where it lanced out to strike him. Just like every time before, Loki had gathered Baldur in his arms, and held him close and tight while whispering reminders of the promises they had made to each other. As soon as the gold drained from Baldur's eyes, the blond god had started crying. "Loki, I did it again. And I _watched_ it, watched myself hurting you, and everyone else." He had succumbed to exhaustion, then, drooping against Loki's shoulder, and leaving the redhead, with Thor's help, to carry Baldur to his quarters. No one else would come near them.

Loki had sat by him all night, carefully watching for signs of destruction in the room, and fearing what would happen when Baldur woke again, or who would wake again. When he did wake near dawn, he had been fully himself. Loki sagged with relief when Baldur's eyelids slid open and revealed blue, not gold. Baldur sat up, and looked at Loki with such sadness in his eyes that the other god's heart had contracted painfully. "I was trying Loki, trying so hard to control myself." He reached out to touch Loki's cheek, where the angry red line of a cut was already fading down to an old scab thanks to godly healing.

"I know you were, Baldur," Loki said, reaching up to cover the hand against his cheek with his own. He wondered what it would be like to stay like this, only the two of them in the pre-dawn haze, safe from all of the uncertainty of the future. "We'll always be together," he whispered, just as much for his comfort as Baldur's. Then he let his hand fall, and attempting to take on his normal, less-serious aspect, said, "Now budge over, I'm exhausted." He'd poked Baldur in the side, until he slid over and made enough room on the bed for Loki to crawl in, more than ready to fall into sleep and pretend for a few hours that this had never happened, to still believe that Baldur was cured.

"I'm afraid, Loki," Baldur whispered as he lay back down, his blue eyes closing with an uncharacteristic heaviness, "And I'm sorry. So, so sorry."

Loki couldn't help but gather the other god into his arms, and pull Baldur's head to his shoulder, like he had done so many times since they were children. "Don't worry," he said, stroking Baldur's hair, "Everything's fine now. We'll figure it all out in the morning." Loki tried to convince himself of the same thing. For now, he could still feel Baldur's warmth, hold his lean but strong body close, run his fingers through Baldur's soft, blond hair. Loki felt Baldur pull him in closer, and the warm breaths across his shoulder became even and slow; Baldur clearly was not recovered from his exhaustion just yet. Loki closed his eyes and sighed, somewhat sadly. Everything wasn't fine, but for now, this would have to be enough.

* * *

In the months since coming to the human world, Baldur had a few outbursts. Each time, Loki had watched Baldur work to fight down his other side, bring it closer under control. The fits were shorter and less violent, and Baldur insisted he could manage on his own. Loki still insisted on helping, and, much to Baldur's chagrin, still wound up getting injured. So here they were, sitting on the edge of Loki's bed in the small flat the three Norse gods were renting together, while Baldur attacked Loki's injuries with all of the smelly, stinging accoutrements of human medicine.

Loki was not a fan of any of these products, not in the least. But Baldur had insisted, and was being uncharacteristically slow and diligent about the task. In the time that Loki had been remembering that first outburst, Baldur had deliberately lowered his head so that some of his hair swung forward and hid his face. Loki knew that Baldur was hurting, far more than any of the stupid antiseptic liquid in his little cuts. He reached out his free hand to brush some of Baldur's hair behind his ear, so it wasn't covering his face. Along the way, Loki let his fingers linger just a moment longer than necessary along Baldur's cheek. "Hey, look at me," he ordered.

Baldur lifted his head just enough to meet Loki's eyes. Just as expected he looked sad and disappointed in himself. "I'm so sorry Loki. You shouldn't have to get hurt like this for me."

"It's fine," Loki said, "I don't mind. You know I would do anything if it means we can always be together. And I'm used to you being a handful."

Baldur nodded. "I know. I just hate hurting you."

"Then put all this crap away," Loki teased, trying to lighten the mood. But Baldur didn't take the bait. He returned to his task, his expression still serious and sad. Gods, Loki hated seeing anything but a smile on the blond's face. Baldur was not made to be sad like this. He decided it was time for a change in tactic. Adopting his typical flippant tone and wry smile, Loki said, "Hey, do you want to hear a strange human tradition I learned about?"

Baldur let his face lighten a bit at the promise of a distraction, and said, "Sure."

"So apparently when humans get hurt, they sometimes ask someone else to kiss the place where they're hurt. It's called kissing it better. Maybe you should get rid of all this nasty, stinging human medicine and kiss it better instead?"

Baldur joined in when Loki laughed, looking happier than he had all evening. Loki would chalk that one up as a success. He was so focused on Baldur's smile, the particular way he seemed to light up, that he didn't immediately notice when Baldur finally did put down the cotton ball. Then he lifted Loki's hand, and pressed a gentle kiss, barely touching the skin, to the clean cut on the back of it.

Loki blinked; he had not expected Baldur to actually take him up on his suggestion. He only let his surprise last half a second before he said, "Yeah, just like that." He pulled his hand up to his face to examine it, and this time Baldur let him, while his other hand curled into the lock of hair on the left side of his face; the cut looked absolutely no different than before. He laughed, "It's so silly isn't it? That humans think this could actually help people heal."

Baldur chuckled a tiny bit along with, but then asked, more seriously, "But does it feel any better?"

"Better than all of this crap, sure," Loki gestured with the injured hand to the contents of the first aid kit spilled across the bedspread.

Baldur nodded then, reached out to grab the gesturing hand again, and flipped it over so he could kiss another cut on the inside of Loki's wrist.

Shivers, not unpleasant ones, raced up Loki's back and into his hairline. "Wait, Baldur, what are you doing? I told you it doesn't work." He sat tense, wondering if he should pull away, or let Baldur continue with whatever his intentions were.

"I thought you said it felt better," said the blond, looking up at Loki with worry in his eyes. When Loki didn't move away or say anything, Baldur's expression shifted to one of determination, and he leaned down to press his lips to the next cut, near the crease of Loki's elbow.

Loki couldn't help but close his eyes and inhale at the light touch. Everything about Baldur was light and soft, kind and gentle in all the ways Loki himself was not. He opened his eyes again, and said lamely, "I didn't really mean that I expected you to kiss it better. You know I joke about everything. Besides, isn't it a bit strange, given you like Yui?" Although, Loki had to admit that he hadn't noticed Baldur actively pursuing Yui lately, and she was spending a lot of time with that A-fool-on.

Baldur hummed in the back of his throat, before leaning forward to reach a long scratch down Loki's bicep. "Yui was the first human to ever see me as an equal, rather than an idol," he murmured, still close enough that Loki could feel the breath on his skin. "That was exciting. But you've always seen me as an equal. And you've been protecting me from myself as long as we've known each other, and letting yourself get hurt. If this is what will make you happy, of course I will kiss it all better. Does it make you happy?"

If it was anyone else, Loki would have waved off the question with some witticism or a lighthearted denial. But he hated lying to Baldur, despite the many years of practice. He wasn't sure he wanted to lie in this instance. He swallowed hard, and then said, "Yes." _More than you could know._

"Good." Baldur graced him with his most radiant, happy smile, and there was nothing else Loki could do but watch and try to keep his breathing from hitching in strange ways.

Baldur shifted closer, so that their legs were pressed flush together, and took Loki's left hand. On this side, there was a scratch along the side of his index finger that received ministrations, along with one across the middle of his forearm, and finally one just on the cap of his shoulder. Any lingering questions Loki had been harboring about Baldur's ultimate intentions went out the window, along with a good portion of his sanity, when Baldur licked a slow line along the skin just below the cut, in manner which was in no way medical, or part of any strange human tradition. Loki let a hum slip from deep within his throat, and reached out with his right hand to tangle it into Baldur's hair.

Then Baldur went for the cut on Loki's collarbone, just visible under the top button of his shirt, which Loki always refused to do up. He released Loki's hand so that his fingers could come up and press slow circles against the soft hairs at the nape of the redhead's neck. Loki could feel a fiery flush spreading up his limbs as Baldur spent extra time here, making sure to kiss and lick every inch of the injury, and teasing small noises out of Loki at every opportunity.

Baldur finally shifted so the two of them were face to face; his eyes were shining with his simple brand of happiness and gentleness, a combination Loki had never been able to resist. Then he slid his hand up to cradle the back of Loki's head, and leaned forward to barely touch his lips to the top of a cut that ran the length of Loki's face, from just under his left eye down to the corner of his mouth. Baldur followed it down, ghosting across Loki's cheek, until his mouth rested just at the corner of Loki's. "Should I stop?" He asked, honestly looking for permission, but with a tinge of teasing his voice. Surely at this proximity he could hear Loki's heart beating out an even more erratic rhythm than usual.

Loki groaned, "Don't you dare." He turned his face just slightly to catch Baldur's lips with his own, and for a while, they lost themselves to each other's respective heat of light and fire.

When they broke apart, Baldur's eyes were slightly glazed over, and it was the first time Loki was glad to see it. "All better now?" Baldur asked.

Loki was also pleased to hear that the blond's voice was a bit more husky than usual. Although, he wasn't sure if he would personally be much better off. He nodded instead of testing that theory.

"Good," Baldur smiled, in a way that reminded Loki of his own mischievous smiles just a little bit too much for comfort. "Then if you feel better, that means I can clean and bandage everything up right?"

Loki groaned and let his head flop dramatically forward. But maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Maybe if he made enough of a fuss, he could convince Baldur to kiss it better all over again. With that thought in mind, he offered up his hands.


End file.
